Saturday, 10 April 2010
There's a very valid reason for the delay in this latest blog post. I've been busy. Doing something I never thought I'd do. Exercising.
It all started when I got made redundant from my shiny new job two months ago. I underwent a period of careful reflection and contemplation. The concluding thoughts? I should aim to become ripped like Beyonce. And so, the journey has begun. Using my not-very-hard-earned redundancy cash, I splashed out on joining the smartest gym that is not by invitation only. It's so smart that the staff refer to it as a 'health and wellbeing club'. But basically, it's just a really kitted out gym - where you get a robe and Molten Brown goodies in the showers. Of course all of these pleasantries are just sweeteners to the bitter pill that is ACTUAL exercise. So, I took a deep breath, and set foot on the treadmill.
Whoever says that exercise is fun, is just kidding themselves. The physical act of running on a treadmill or pedalling furiously on an exercise bike is, to put it bluntly, the opposite of fun. It's boring, painful and makes your T-shirt soggy. The only good thing about doing all of this, is the feeling you have afterwards. A feeling of achievement and calorie-burning success and for me a feeling that I am getting progressively closer to looking like Beyonce. Because let's face it, who wouldn't want to look like Beyonce? So I've been going four times a week for the last six weeks. Impressive eh? I haven't actually lost any weight, but that's because I'm (apparently) substituting fat for muscle and (apparently) muscle is heavier than fat. But I am definitely slimmer and my jeans are looser. So I'm convinced something must be working and that in another 6-8 weeks the effects of all this gyming will be obvious. Let's hope so.
One other good thing about the gym is that you get rediscover some true anthems on your iPod. I've been compiling several workout playlists since I began this new challenge. So here is the cream of the crop - my top 10 workout songs.
1. Ok, it's not a single song but rather the supremely awesome 'As Heard on Radio Soulwax Pt 2' by 2Many Djs. Pumping, brilliantly mixed and lasts about the length of a workout.
2. Enter Sandman by Metallica. Because you run faster when evil is coming to claim your soul.
3. Black and White Town by Doves. The beat perfectly matches my running stride on the treadmill.
4. Fighter by Christina Aguilera. Good for motivation, especially when you really can't be arsed with the crosstrainer.
5. Muhammed Ali by Faithless. Gives you a Rocky-esque sense of mental ascension, without actually having to listen to the Rocky theme tune. Or Eye of of the Tiger.
6. What you Waiting for by Gwen Stefani. Keeps your self esteem high with the words 'You're still a super hot female' - even if I'm not Beyonce yet.
7. Even Flow by Pearl Jam. Because it's an awesome track.
8. Hey Boy Hey Girl by The Chemical Brothers. Hypnotic, and nicely repetitive so you zone out and don't get distracted.
9. Survivor by Destiny's Child. Beyonce gives an important lesson in toughness. How else can I aspire to her greatness?
10. Thrill Me by Junior Jack. Builds up and then drops hard. Bit like me in the gym.